"Don't Tell Me You..."

I can remember the biting comment as vividly today as if it was just said.  I was still a teenager, giving one of my first briefings as an officer candidate to a group of higher-ranking cadets and cadre.  I was nervous, and it was only compounded by the fact that I probably wasn’t as prepared as I should’ve been. The first words to come out of my mouth as I started my presentation were, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and…” That line of remarks didn’t last long. One of the senior cadets said to me “Hey Nickerson, do us a favor. Don’t tell us you suck. We’ll figure that out soon enough on our own.”

The laughter that ensued was stinging, but it only solidified the lesson that I’ve applied ever since. Convincing others that your ideas are worthy of their time and that they should listen to you is hard enough. Informing your audience, in essence, that you are ill-prepared and probably don’t know the subject enough to be speaking on it doesn’t do you any favors. In fact, it can ruin your credibility right up-front.

I witnessed this practice countless times when I went on to train cadets myself and have seen it often in other professional settings. The speaker, who is probably very knowledgeable on the subject they are about to speak, starts their presentation by apologizing for their inadequacies. WHY DO THEY DO THAT?! It comes in many forms:

“I really didn’t get a lot of time to put this together…”

“The information in this briefing is a bit dated, but…”

“I’m not that much of a speaker…”

“I’m not really the right person for this, but…”

Each of us has heard versions of these precursors. What normally ensues is a futile attempt by the speaker to climb out of the hole they dug at the beginning of their presentation. This practice of beginning with an excuse is normally an attempt to apologize for some perceived weakness that weighs on the speaker’s confidence.

Do yourself a favor. Before you conduct your next presentation—be it formal or informal—check to see if you do any form of this. If you do, STOP IT! Nothing damages your ability to win your argument, make the sale, or lead others than to tell them up-front why they shouldn’t listen to you. Don’t tell them at the outset, “I’m not the right person to be saying this and I’m probably wasting your time, but here goes!” Or, to paraphrase the senior cadet from that day, “Don’t tell me you suck.”

The truth is if you’re asked for your opinion, hired to sell a product, or put in a leadership role, it’s probably for a good reason. Somebody at some point saw your potential and your abilities. They believed in you, so believe in yourself! You don’t “suck”, so stop unintentionally saying you do. Your audience will appreciate what you’re saying that much more.